the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
