So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i out mim tonsoeep
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