Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
