my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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