Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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