My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
