I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So squirting runs in the family.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
