u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
