Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize