What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
