i just had sex bonerless
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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