I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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