The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
