i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
