I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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