so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
