I like my sex mixed with concussions.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
