they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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