you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
