i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
