I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
