So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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