well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize