guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
