is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found puke in my bra..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
