Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
