I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
