Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
