I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
