Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
