he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
