speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
