Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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