he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
PANTIES FOUND
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
