porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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