Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
