i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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