I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
