If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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