how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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