I think scott just propositioned me for sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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