if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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