After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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