Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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