i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize