I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
