And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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