How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ketchup is God's man juice
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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