Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
