um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
