ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
