this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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