I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
