My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
