I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize