Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
