i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
