all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
