I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
