maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
