shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
