I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
